Nation Unsure if Gripped By Fear or Terror

By HUGO HENTOFF Nov. 9, 2016

In a historically surprising upset, Donald Trump has been elected the next president of the United States and many citizens are unsure whether to respond to this news with complete fear or utter terror.

An Ohio man stated, “On the one hand, I’m deeply horrified that fundamental human rights will be taken away, but on the other, I’m shitting myself with an unadulterated panic because there is now a unique possibility of a nuclear apocalypse. So I’m conflicted.”

Mental Health Tip: pretend all the sobbing people you see in the streets are just playing peek-a-boo by themselves

“When I heard the news, I didn’t know how to react,” said a Michigan woman. “Do I violently sob out of fear or projectile vomit out of terror? I ended up doing both.”

She continued, “It’s like shards of broken glass are falling from the sky and tearing through my skin, cutting my body into chunks of exposed flesh. I guess this is the closest I’ll get to knowing what someone shattering the glass ceiling would feel like.”



Image Source: REUTERS/Valentyn Ogirenko


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