By HUGO HENTOFF Apr. 11, 2017

Meteorologists across Maine are reporting that the warm and sunny weather the state is currently experiencing will last for at least another 45 minutes.

“Make sure to soak up the remaining 44 minutes of sun while you can,” said local weather woman Natasha Green, “because in 43 minutes, it will all be a distant memory.”

“I’m going to spend these precious 42 minutes of spring getting my bronze on,” said Topsham resident Oscar Foster, who hopes that his 41 minutes of tanning will radically transform his complexion from beige to eggshell white.

After a pleasant 40 minutes of blue skies and 70° weather, Maine residents can expect a quick couple of weeks of rain, darkness, and plagues, but can look forward to an estimated 90 minutes of sun in about 2-3 weeks.