By JONATHAN LERDAU | October 10, 2024

It is well known that once a young boy reaches the age of maturity, his voice loses its ‘boyish’ charm. In the Renaissance, when women were not allowed to sing in public (seduction and whatnot) and boys had to perform the female roles, this presented quite a challenge. Luckily, European opera aficionados came up with an ingenious solution. When a boy neared the age of maturity, his testicles were crushed and thus his voice never dropped, and that delicate soprano tone was preserved. These boys were called castrati. Due to the brutality of castrating a prepubescent boy, this practice has largely fallen out of favor. 

There is one organization, however, that kept this practice alive to modern day. In 2023, the Bowdoin Meddiebempsters castrated their last first-year boy. While they will miss the unique sweetness of the male soprano, unfortunately the castration forceps they used have rusted over, and student activities were unwilling to fork over the cash for a new pair. 

“It’s a shame it had to end like this, but castration has just become financially unviable in 2024,” said Meddibempsters leader emeritus Yacob Strachtenberg. 

However, hope is not lost for the Meddiebempsters. The group is holding auditions at Harriet Beecher Stowe Elementary next week (alongside the Longfellows and BOKA, after which there will be a small-scale–but equally intense–version of the famed acapella draft), and plans to welcome its first under-12 member within the fortnight.