On Monday, August 25th, the gates of Bowdoin College flew open, welcoming hundreds of bright-eyed first-year students. With a record-breaking acceptance rate of just 6.8%, the Class of 2029 has demonstrated its parents’ intellectual prowess, emotional resilience, and ability to navigate the Common App with unmatched strength, decisiveness, and fortitude.

Hundreds of student and staff volunteers lined the quad, eager to greet these inspiring individuals—the On-a-Mission Dad, the Snowplow Mom, the GPS Parent, and the Sibling Who Just Wants to Leave—welcoming them to their greatest financial burden for the next four years.

In her annual Presidential Address, Safa Zaki praised the newcomers for their many accomplishments leading up to their acceptance at Bowdoin, stating:

“We know you worked hard to get here. You toured no fewer than twenty colleges, wrote several ingenious supplemental essays, and even paid $4,000 for a writing coach who really understood your child’s voice. This room is filled with trailblazers.
Some of you pressured your kid to play a sport their entire life—and because of you, they are now playing at an okay, Division III school. Some of you chaired the PTA, forged key relationships with guidance counselors, and strategically boosted your child’s résumé with presidencies of the Key Club, Debate Team, and Robotics Club. And one of you made billions of dollars—we sincerely thank you for your continued support of our college.”

As the Class of 2029 embarks on the next four years of learning, growing, and transformation, members of The Harpoon wish them the very best. Upon graduation, we hope they leave this campus with a deeper understanding of who they are, who their child should be, and how to best remind them—frequently, lovingly, and via text—that none of this would have been possible without you.