Part of Bowdoin’s winter charm is watching all the fat squirrels scamper around campus with the occasional pizza slice or half-eaten apple in their cute little mouths. It helps distract from the fact that you’re currently on your way to fail your Physics midterm in -5º weather. We’ve seen many a Yik-Yak post calling out the “biblical greed” of these furry friends, poking fun at how large and rotund they are from November to April.

While the student body may view this as harmless fun, the reality is that these comments are having a negative effect on the body image of the squirrels on campus. Resident squirrel Barry D. Nuts, Chair of the Committee for Cross Species Relations, has reached out to the Harpoon to draw attention to this issue. “Squeak squeak, squeakity squeak” [translation: The abhorrent fatphobia and fatshaming happening to my fellow brothers and sisters across this campus is sickening. How dare the student body mock us for simply doing what nature demands? Do you shame a tree for losing its leaves? Do you ridicule the sun for setting? Do you sneer at the birds flying south for the winter? Nay, so why must we be taunted for preparing for a harsh Maine winter? Why is it so hilarious that we are gathering food for the sick and the young who cannot do it themselves? Why, I ask, is my image being used to compare yourself to how you feel after last night’s Super’s menu? It is a disgusting form of bullying, the likes of which I have never seen on the campus before. I shame you, Bowdoin College. Shame!].

In response to this outrage, the Center for Multicultural Life will be hosting an open discussion, creating a space for squirrels and students alike to air their grievances and, hopefully, reach a mutual understanding.