Hello Bowdoin Harpoon,

My situationship of six months, who I’ve introduced to my parents and have told is the love of my life, just asked that we start officially dating. I really, really love her, but I don’t quite feel ready, and I’m worried that actually dating would ruin the special connection we have. What should I do?

Best,

Anonymous Hopeless Romantic

AHR,

All good things in life take time—especially love. Your intuitions are absolutely correct. Six months is only a blink of the eye. David Izzard, relationship expert, explains:

“The healthiest relationships almost always stem from 1, 2, even 3-year-long siutationships. It’s just not something you can rush.”

However, this is a delicate situation. Rejecting your situationship means losing a deep, meaningful connection, a wholly untenable outcome. 

You can respond to this in many ways—as long as you absolutely avoid giving anything close to a clear answer. Izzard recommends emotionally intelligent, communicative responses, including:

“Of course I love you, but it’s more as a spiritual mentor than a partner.”

“I’m so scared I’ll hurt you, almost as scared as I am of emotional intimacy.”

“I don’t want to be in a relationship with you, but I can’t bear the thought of you with someone else because I do want to be with you.”

“I don’t know.”

Be honest and open about your emotions, follow your heart, never actually commit to someone, and soon you’ll be living the fairytale romance of your dreams!