Love is in the air this February, and as Valentine’s Day draws ever nearer, countless students across campus are preparing for a wonderful day with their sweetheart. However, not every student is blessed with a single or has a roommate that spends all hours in the Smith Union game room.

Some students, like Brendan Dawson ‘29, are being cockblocked by their codependent roommate. “It’s really frustrating,” explained Dawson, “I really like the guy but I feel like I can’t get a moment alone with my girlfriend.”

“The guy” refers to Dawson’s Osher 4th roommate, Jimmy Barker ‘29, self proclaimed “nice guy” who is spending this Valentine’s Day alone. Barker and Dawson are a great roommate pair, always getting meals together and running underground poker games in the Osher laundry room.

The issue arose recently, when Barker’s long distance girlfriend broke up with him over Winter break. Ever since, Dawson has not been able to get a moment alone, practically attached at the hip to his newly single roommate. “I’m starting to really worry about Valentine’s Day, I just started dating my girlfriend and I was kind of hoping to have the room to myself for the night”, Dawson told Harpoon reporters. The new couple has been lacking in their “alone time”, and Dawson was hoping this would finally be the night to have his cherry popped. When the subject of Valentine’s festivities was discussed, Barker simply assumed he would be joining Dawson and his girlfriend. “Hell ya! Pal-entine’s Day is gonna be awesome! Just me, my good friend Brendan, and that girl I see him hanging out with sometimes. I think her name’s Stacy? Maybe we can be like a new super trio with matching shirts!”, exclaimed Barker.

As the holiday looms ever closer, Dawson is searching for a single to rent out for the night and potentially some sort of activity to keep his lonely roommate occupied.