BY NOAH SAPERSTEIN

The results of the election two weeks ago had serious effects on many people on campus. Some wore black, others skipped class, and most seemed generally dejected. Perhaps no one had a harder time with the results than Nate Hintze, head of student activities. On Wednesday, credible sources said that he was wearing regular, normal tan khaki pants.

When we reached him for comment, he explained that “The day after the election, I woke up to horrible news. Trump represents a serious threat to our democracy and to our civil liberties. For some reason, wearing my normal outfits just didn’t feel appropriate. After digging through my closet, I finally found something fitting. So yeah, that’s kinda all I have to say about that.” We also have nothing else to say. Either this joke is funny to you because you read the headline and know that Hintze normally wears really bright pants or you don’t know that and are reading this to understand what’s going on. So yeah. This is the end of the article.