FEB. 4, 2019
By Calderon McHuman and the Pied Piper (with Editorial Assistance from the Bowdoin Harpoon)
Here’s your rundown of marginally notable news that you “ABSOLUTELY NEED” to know this week from the Orient:
1. BOWDOIN PEP BAND PLAYS TIMELESS CLASSIC MO BAMBA
After a ten year hiatus, the pep band has returned to Bowdoin. The band’s former iteration was disbanded after controversy over anti-American sentiments (liking socialism before Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez made it cool). In an attempt to win back the Bowdoin community, the band played tunes such as Mo Bamba at last weekend’s hockey game. The pep band is welcoming to all, especially if you suck at music and just like to bang on drums.
Want to learn more (doubtful)??? Read the full article here.
2. BOWDOIN NORDIC BEAT TWO TEAMS?
After an absolutely grueling Maine State Championship (aka “The Chummy”) last weekend, Bowdoin Nordic was able to come out on top over a MASSIVE field of three teams and 52 athletes. A key for Bowdoin’s successful team this year is that they like skiing, sage analysis from the Orient sports desk.
Learn more about “The Chummy Broomhaha:” here.
3. POLAR BEARS (DON’T) MAUL MAMMOTHS
Attempted Puns by the Orient: 0; Paleozoology: 1
Although Polar Bears and Wooly Mammoths may have coexisted for over 100,000 years, Polar Bears rarely preyed upon the land mammals. Nonetheless, Bowdoin Basketball beat the team formerly known as the Lord Jeff Indian Killers, capitalizing on their “good old fashioned chutzpah.” And Randy Nichols nearly had an aneurysm over potential fire code violations.
Read more about “good old fashioned chutzpah” here.
4. IS LADD LAME?
For the second straight year as a senior only college house, Ladd has struggled to get applicants. Residential life has given rising seniors nearly a 2 MONTH extension to apply. However, it is unclear whether this policy of 2 month deadline extensions will be used elsewhere at the college.
Want a whole college house to yourself? Read more here.
5. WHEN IN DOUBT, BUILD MORE STUFF
The college announced this week they will be constructing two new buildings starting in 2020 : Mills Hall and a New Arctic Studies Center where the writers of the Orient might learn a thing or two about mammoths and polar bears. The new Arctic Studies Center will also give the Arctic Museum more space than a glorified closet. Larger lecture spaces in Mills hall should keep non-STEM students from being “intimidated” by Searles 315.
Learn more about building you’ll probably never use here.
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