Tag: Bowdoin

Lots of Unanswered Questions after BSG Elections, Rumors of Contested Results

by WILL HAUSMANN April 15, 2019

The BSG elections closed last night to raucous ambivalence on the part of Bowdoin Students. Ural Mishra was elected president and some other people were probably elected to some other positions. Blank dot also had a very good night, receiving 630 votes all while running 5 campaigns. Some BSG members have suggested Blank Dot might be able to win a chair position next year with a more focused effort.

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C-Store Becomes CBD Store

by HOLLY LYNE April 4, 2019

The dankest new wellness trend is blazing into Bowdoin: CBD. “The College is thrilled to announce that the beloved C-Store will be renovated and renamed the CBD-Store,” announced Director of Counseling and Wellness, Dr. Bernie R. Hershberger. “We have just begun remodeling the space and ordering a new inventory. The ribbon cutting ceremony for the brand new CBD-Store will take place on April 20 at 4:20 PM.”

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Mass Hall a “Total Masshole” According to Other Academic Buildings

by FREDERICKA HIBBS Mar. 28, 2019

“Honestly, fuck that guy,” was Kanbar’s immediate response when asked to comment on Massachusetts Hall’s recent antics. And he’s not the only one—this sentiment seems to be a resounding consensus throughout all the campus constructions.

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Chemistry Department Caught Running Meth Lab

by THEO DANZIG Mar. 26, 2019

The Brunswick Police last week uncovered a massive enterprise run by the Bowdoin Chemistry Department to manufacture crystal methamphetamine. The Department had hired engineers to drill under the basement of Druckenmiller Hall and built a state of the art facility using equipment from their own laboratories.

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“No, I Don’t Want to Hear About Your Spring Break or the Mueller Report”

by JACK ARNHOLZ Mar. 25, 2019

Hey, I’m sure you had a wild spring break hiking the Everglades, getting an individually tailored McGruff the Crime Dog costume, or finally obtaining the currently sealed Special Counsel Report on the Investigation into Russian Interference in the 2016 Presidential Election. But, guess what? I really don’t want to hear it.

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