BY THE HARPOON TECH COUNCIL

Bowdoin Information Technology is excited to announce a groundbreaking update to your account security this November: 2FAxPC99a9-Compliant Pheromone Authentication, which will replace our current Okta login system. Read on to find out the details of OPC 2.1.3.. 

Set-Up: Sniff, Swipe, Repeat

To enroll in the new system, each student, faculty, and staff member will need to submit three distinct scent samples:

1. Baseline Scent: Collected after waiting in Thorne Thursday dinner line.
2. Panic Sweat: Sampled during midterms or last few minutes of add/drop period.
3. Wild Card: This one is up to you. IT encourages creativity but recommends against the use of antiperspirant. 

Logging In: It’s All in the Smell

Here’s how the new login process will work:

• Approach the Pheromone Portal™, located next to the Cafe in Smith Union.
• Stand still and raise your arms as the Pheromone Portal releases a testing mist.
• If your pheromones match our records, you’ll be granted access. If not, you’ll get a puff of rejection mist and have to try again.