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50 Things to Do Before You Graduate

September 2025

  1. Rollback DEI in your friend group 
  2. Feel unwelcome in Buck basement
  3. Act like you’re better than your friends for not going abroad.
  4. Get stuck in your hammock and emerge a beautiful butterfly come spring. 
  5. Set up a camera on the quad for the first snow
  6. Write an OpEd for the Orient that no one will read or care about
  7. Write an article for the Harpoon that’s so offensive it causes someone else to write an OpEd for the Orient that people actually do read and care about
  8. Join club basketball and get rimmed in multiple ways
  9. Prolong your inevitable demise
  10. Get recircumcised
  11. Lose yourself spiritually but also to the music
  12. Regrout the Osher 1st bathroom
  13. Bring balance to the force
  14. Lick every surface of Bax basement
  15. Give up on the dream
  16. Meet with Balkan shaman Sßövdn in the Albanian Alps and realize that the dream is still alive 
  17. Mow down 3 first years on their way to Thorne with your bike 
  18. Destroy the Sith 
  19. Lose your virginity to Broccoli by DRAM ft. Lil Yachty
  20. Lose your virginity to a broccoli 
  21. Try every chutney. Life’s too short.
  22. Change your sheets
  23. Start beef with a vegetarian
  24. Become the ultimate authority on the circumcision debate
  25. Debate the ethics of circumcision with visiting philosophy professor Max DuBoff
  26. Organize a campus visit by Charlie Kirk
  27. Enroll in the United MileagePlus program
  28. Earn platinum status on United Airlines
  29. Apply for the United Explorer Card
  30. Serve your country
  31. Protest discrimination against Christians
  32. Spend the night in every first year brick
  33. Be the first Christian to sing the national anthem at the Bowdoin Colby hockey game
  34. Be the first Christian to join ultimate frisbee
  35. Be the first Christian to join an a Capella group
  36. Apple air tag your professor’s spouse
  37. Name a woman
  38. Juice cleanse
  39. Bong rip in the Chapel
  40. Gut the Green New Deal
  41. Split a 5×5 U-Haul unit with 10 of your closest friends
  42. Take another crack at that Res Life Union, maybe it’ll be different this time!
  43. Join the Harpoon!
  44. Be the person at the party to accidentally turn on the lights
  45. Bong Rip
  46. Bong Rip
  47. Bong Rip
  48. Bong Rip
  49. Bong Rip
  50. Bong Rip

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