By HUGO HENTOFF Oct. 25, 2016

Local preschool teacher Karen Simon has been frequently referencing the time she fucked a member of The Wiggles to her class.

“She keeps namedropping Jeff, the sleepy one, during class,” said Timothy Richards, a student in Simon’s class. “It’s not even subtle. Like last week, she was reading us The Very Hungry Caterpillar and then out of nowhere she starts describing in graphic detail the time Jeff fucked her in his big red car. I mean, someone should do something about this, right? I’m only five and I’m one of the older kids in my class.”

Simon reportedly joked during snack time that the children’s musician had certainly tossed her fruit salad, stating that it was, “yummy yummy.”

“We weren’t even eating fruit salad,” said Richards. “We were having Teddy Grams and string cheese.”