By JACK ARNHOLZ  Jan. 31, 2017

WASHINGTON – President Trump will nominate Pladimir Vutin to the Supreme Court this evening in a televised, national address. Some critics are concerned that the administration is choosing a judicial novice to sit on the highest court of the land. Others are concerned that Mr. Vutin is just Russian President Vladimir Putin wearing a fake mustache.

In making the announcement today, a perspiring Sean Spicer, the White House Press Secretary, was seen flanked by two men wearing ushankas and leather gloves. They were introduced to the press as “Larry” and “Dave.”

Addressing those critical of Mr. Vutin’s nomination today on Fox News, Kellyanne Conway said, “Mr. Vutin is political outsider who has dedicated his life to public service, and all anyone wants to talk about is how Mr. Vutin is Vladimir Putin wearing a fake mustache.”

The Senate is expected to confirm Mr. Vutin later this month as several skeptical Senators have been reported missing fingers.