By JACK ARNHOLZ Mar. 27, 2017

First-year Emma Johnson, who left her Canada Goose jacket in Ladd last Friday night, has announced that she will now be forced settle for her Barbour.

“My mom is going to kill me when she finds out I lost my Canada Goose,” Johnson said. “She wouldn’t want me to be seen wearing a Barbour.”

Johnson realized her Canada Goose was missing when she walked through Super Snacks and not even one person complimented her on her wealth. She is taking solace in the fact that her Barbour also goes well with her Martha’s Vineyard sweatshirt and yoga pants.