By ETHAN BEVINGTON Apr. 7, 2017

Freshman Clay Symington has been playing his ukulele in the hallway to let the women of his dorm know that he is not like the other boys.

“I just want girls here to know that not all boys are the same,” said Symington as he gently played a Ben Folds melody. “Some of us are really sensitive and like talking about our feelings and cuddling and other gay shit.”

“I knew Clay was different when I heard him playing a 21 Pilots song out in the hallway,” said one girl on his floor. “Most guys just want sex, but Clay is a musician who has feelings,” said another.

“I just love my ukulele and hope that someday I will find my uku-lady,” said Symington as he ever so softly caressed the strings of his ukulele with just the tips of his delicate musician’s fingers.