Jesus Makes Second Coming, Gets Deported


Members of the Community of Christ Church out of Independence Missouri reported witnessing the second coming of Jesus Christ, right in the heart of the United States. Hours after His appearance, Trump signed an executive order demanding the deportation of the religious figure.

President Donald Trump tweeted to the world on Friday, “Fake News @Jesus, failing carpenter and all, is ruining our water industry by turning it into foreign wine business. Sad!”

Congregation member Sarah Atkinson was present as Jesus descended from heaven. She told journalists that, “Jesus appeared to be Middle-Eastern. I was honestly surprised that he wasn’t white.”

The White House made no comment on whether or not their motives to deport Jesus were racially driven, but the inclusion of an accent in the spelling of Jesus (Jesús) in President Trump’s executive order may be an indication of intent.

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