By SEBASTIAN HERNANDEZ Apr. 18, 2017

Cross country runner Tyler Swift ‘18 recently participated in a voluntary discussion on race in Morell Gymnasium, placing third.

“I just got right in there; I made the necessary preparations,” Swift said. “I studied Jesse Owens extensively. It’s really great to see the hard work you put in pay off when it really counts. I was free, I was loose, and I was able to stay in it for the long haul. I had to pace myself a few times, I almost brought up slavery in the first two minutes, but thankfully I stuck in there.”

Swift wasn’t always so adept at having racially charged conversations, though. “I remember the first time I talked about race,” he recalled. “I walked in with my Jordans and my Canada Goose Jacket; I had no idea how underprepared I was. One person mentioned Beloved and I thought they were hitting on me. I was so embarrassed with my performance, I faked a pulled hamstring just to get out of there.”

Tyler narrowly lost to a very woke sophomore from New York and an actual person of color, who wandered into the Gym looking for the bathroom.