Football Player Eats Tray of Food, Cup, Silverware

By SAM HALPERT May 4, 2017

Sources confirmed Tuesday that offensive lineman Alex Danello brought his tray of food over to the athlete section of Thorne before promptly ingesting his two plates of protein, his five cups of water, and all of his utensils.

Danello was later seen getting seconds of plates and cups. It is not uncommon for linemen to consume trays or even tables while trying to bulk up during the offseason. When asked about his diet, Danello said, “I try to keep a balanced diet. Forks and knives are excellent sources of iron and the plates fill me right up.”

At the end of lunch, Danello was seen pouring ketchup on a plump first-year. Sources were unable to confirm whether this act constituted preparation for a third course or if it was merely an incident of bullying.


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