By SUMMERS ASKEW Sep. 15, 2017

Hurricane Taylor, a storm sourced from a young girl who’s had her heart broken one too many times, is currently on course to hit rock bottom this fall.

“We just don’t know what to do,” said local listener Chad Michael. “Everything was so pleasant – so innocent – so tolerable – and now this? What did we do to deserve this?”

As the storm approaches, stores around the country are selling out of supplies needed to survive the natural disaster. Local business owner Michael Murray has noticed that Lorde’s Melodrama and Kendrick Lamar’s DAMN. have been especially popular. “At this point people will stock up on anything. Even the Julia and Julia soundtrack is sold out.”

The storm is forecasted to affect half the nation, with Florida receiving the most serious blows. Taylor Swift’s new album reputation will be released on November 10, 2017.