By LIAM JUSKEVICE Nov. 6, 2017

In a surprising upset, a Bowdoin student overcame himself in a chess game near the entrance of Hatch Science Library last Sunday.

Chess matches in Hatch, intended for passive playing through students making moves then flipping over a paper to indicate it’s the other sides’ turn, usually take place between strangers passing through the library at different times. However, in an unthinkable feat, a student last week decided to defy the established norms by both starting and finishing a chess game against himself.

“I just wanted to give the ole’ big ole’ middle finger to the establishment, you know? Fuck your societal norms, your taking turns, etcetera. If I want to demolish myself in chess, I’m going to demolish myself in chess,” says the student, who has asked to remain anonymous.

Indeed, it was quite an impressive victory between the student’s identities. The student played for the white side as, “That Kid Who Stared At Me For an Uncomfortably Long Time,” while simultaneously playing for the black side as, “That Guy Who Is Convinced He Knows More About the Subject Than the Professor.”

While “That Kid Who Stared At Me For an Uncomfortably Long Time” technically won, it would be more accurate to say that both sides lost.