By JACOB BASKES Apr. 2, 2018

Over the past few years, it has become more and more difficult to earn a spot in Bowdoin’s first-year class. In 2016, the College’s acceptance rate was a record low of 14.3%. That record was broken in 2017, when just 13.4% of applicants were offered admission. Neither of these records, however, compare to 2018’s astonishingly low statistic, when Bowdoin offered spots in the Class of 2022 to just ten students.

The ten admitted students were drawn from an equally astounding applicant pool of over nine thousand extremely overqualified and extremely underqualified high school seniors. This ratio means that Bowdoin’ acceptance rate for the Class of 2022 is a new record low 0.11%, less than one hundredth of last year’s rate.

“I most certainly am proud,” said President Clayton Rose when asked for his thoughts on the acceptance rate which students, parents and Harvard are calling “blasphemous” and “really stupid and dumb and also unfair and stupid.”

“We have finally realized our dream of making Bowdoin the most selective school in the country,” Rose continued. “Also, this entirely solves our housing issue.”

Bowdoin students have questioned the low number of acceptances, asking where it falls with respect to the College’s desire for diversity on campus. “You can’t expect much variety to come out of a pool this small,” said Senior Anne Wu. “What are we going to have, a kid from Westchester, two from New York City, one from overseas, and six from Massachusetts?”

Bowdoin’s Office of Admissions released a statement this morning detailing the College’s excitement to introduce the “new student from Westchester, the two from New York City, the student from overseas, and the six new students from Massachusetts to our warm and inviting Bowdoin community.”

“Is this real?” asked Wu.