Student Has Threesome with Skis

By JARED COLE Apr. 4, 2018

It was only a matter of time before sophomore Javier Lopez’ roommate Drew Johnson finally hooked up with both his skis for a one night stand.

“He talked about them, like, 24/7” said Lopez, who was not the least bit shocked when Johnson asked for some “alone time” with the sporting equipment. “He could really talk about those skis for hours on end, and I could see their relationship brewing for weeks. It wasn’t a matter of if, but rather, when he would finally give those skis the bidness” Lopez explained.

Lopez went on to state that Johnson sexiled him for nearly two hours that fated Friday night.

“To tell you the truth, I was perfectly fine with giving him the time that he needed. Leading up to that night I could tell he was feeling a bit low, so as his roommate and friend I just wanted to see him happy” Lopez elaborated.

Lopez patiently waited in the study room of his floor for an hour and a half before he decided to walk back to the room to see if the coast was clear.

“I stood by the door and all I could hear was Mariah Carey’s “Santa Claus Is Comin’ To Town” at full blast, so I decided to give him another twenty minutes to finish up” said Lopez.

When Lopez returned to the room and all was silent, he opened the door and said Johnson was fast asleep with not only the two skis, but also his Dalbello ski boots.

“He definitely did not take it easy on those bad boys, and I was not expecting him to get the boots involved. I mean, there was snow all over the room the second I walked in” Lopez added.

Lopez expects that while Johnson will likely brush this off as a one night stand, this will not be an isolated incident. “He told me he’s going up to Sugarloaf this Saturday, and we all know what that’s about.”

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