By JAANA SINGH Aug. 29, 2018

Ah, senior year! Returning to Bowdoin feels like returning home to your wife and kids after a quick stop at Whole Foods to buy cauliflower. This year is looking pretty good. You have at least three friends now, so you probably have all your dinner slots occupied, you finally got into all your first choice classes, and, perhaps most importantly, you’re living in the tower, so unlimited cereal in Thorne is just an elevator ride away. You’re no novice at being a Bowdoin student, and it’s hard to imagine a time that this place didn’t feel like home.

And yet, Grandmother cannot, for the light of day, figure out how to pronounce the name of your school. “Nicholas goes to Bow Doo Inn. It’s somewhere in Vermont,” she can be heard telling the cronies she golfs with every Tuesday and Thursday.

Yikes! To think you’re paying $60k + per year to get this lucrative education, yet Grandmother says that Carol, the woman who works the checkout counter at Marshalls, has never heard of Boe Deen. This has gotta sting just a little bit for the dudes in suits working in Admissions and Career Planning, who have always boasted about the school’s name recognition.

A recent study conducted by the Pew Research Center has found that 83% of Bowdoin Grandmothers have just resorted to telling their biddies that their grandchild goes to NYU.