FEB. 11, 2019

By Calderon McHuman and the Pied Piper (with Editorial Assistance from the Bowdoin Harpoon)

Here’s your rundown of marginally notable news that you “ABSOLUTELY NEED” to know this week:

1. BOWDOIN CAREER PLANNING WON’T APPLY TO JOBS FOR YOU

After many seniors expressed dissatisfaction with career planning, many said the center wasn’t providing enough support. Students are paying $70,000 a year to go here, but shockingly they still have to search and apply to jobs. Students with interests in the arts and journalism were particularly dissatisfied, but career planning can only do so much to revive dying fields.

Are you still an unemployed bum? Read the full article here.

2. BOWDOIN PROFESSORS SURPRISINGLY LIBERAL

Analysis of FEC data revealed that Bowdoin professors are not the bastion of conservatism we all thought they were. All of the large donations by Bowdoin faculty were earmarked for liberal candidates and groups. Additionally, one Bowdoin trustee donated $1 million to a Democratic PAC, showing even liberals can unite over Citizens United as well. Clayton Rose also made a max donation to “non-partisan Independent” Angus King, after King wouldn’t take payment for speaking at Orientation Dinner.

See which of your professors are closeted liberals here.

3. AVERAGE AGE AT MUSIC AT THE MUSEUM: 77

The Music at the Museum series continued this past week to a raucous crowd of seniors (like actual senior citizens). The event sold out quickly as guests were concerned that all the artistically inclined Bowdoin students would flock to the event. However, the Orient was unable to find any students at the event to comment. All artistically inclined students were reportedly too busy complaining about Dighton Spooner.

Find out if your grandmother was at Music at the Museum here.

4. ICE FISHING: THE BEST BOWDOIN TEAM ON ICE

As the Bowdoin Hockey teams rock a collective 9-31-4 record, Bowdoin’s top athletes may be investing their time in ice fishing. Students spend up to five hours competing in this grueling sport each Sunday during the winter months. The ice fishing team may begin recruiting in the near future.

Did you quit hockey but miss being on a team? Take the leap here.

5. STUDENTS CONSIDER “CHARMING” MAINE POST-GRAD

At the Maine Career Fair, Smith Union echoed with overused cliches about how awesome Maine is during the summer months and what a perspective shift it would be to live and work in this state. It is almost like students would benefit from a whole four years living and going to school in Maine to learn about this quirky and whimsical state.

Wish you had the chance to live and engage with the state of Maine. Learn more here.

Love the Oriental Express? Share it with all your dad’s frat brothers!

Compiled by Will Hausmann