NRA Begins Arming Children to Fight Hunger in Africa

By ETHAN BEVINGTON Feb. 18, 2016

In a shocking new development for the organization, the National Rifle Association has chosen to take their agenda to the international stage and is now arming African children in their fight against hunger.

“When I learned that hunger kills nearly 17,000 children in Africa each year, I was appalled,” said Wayne LaPierre, an NRA executive. “If these children were armed, none of this would ever happen. We’re giving these kids guns so that they can finally take a stand against the bastard that has killed so many innocents”

A delighted African child posing with his new best friend

After receiving an AR-15, one child in Chad said, “What is this?” Another in Togo said, “I can’t eat this,” while his brother inquired about the next time he would receive clean water or food.

The NRA plans on airdropping boxes of arms directly into villages so as to allow universal access to safety. These boxes will include instructions in both English and Spanish that condenses the strenuous four-hour training course required to obtain a firearm in America into a few concise statements.

In an effort to remain eco-friendly, bullets for these guns will be made from recycled background checks.


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