Brunswick Fire Department Receives Report of Actual Fire

By ETHAN BEVINGTON April 11, 2016

House-on-Fire-lowIn a rare occurrence, the Brunswick Fire Department responded to a call about an actual fire in town last Thursday night.

“We generally are not confronted with these sorts of situations,” said one fireman with the department. “We typically spend a great deal of time perfecting our technique for sliding down the pole to get to the engines, so as to optimize speed.”

Not used to receiving reports of actual fire, the Brunswick Fire Department Chief called the burning home back twice to confirm that it was not a prank call. “You just never know with kids these days,” the chief said. “Sometimes they’re joking about a non-existent fire, and sometimes they’re burning to death.”

The firefighters were slow to arrive on the scene, citing an empty gas tank and a few misplaced helmets as their main obstacles. The team also stopped at 7-11 beforehand to acquire the nutritious snacks and energizing beverages needed to fight fire.

Forty-three minutes after receiving the 9-1-1 call, the Brunswick firefighters drove to the address they were given, only to discover they were, in fact, pranked. “There was no burning house,” said one firefighter. “There wasn’t even a house. There was just an empty lot filled with ash, smoldering coals, and a few charred skeletons. It’s infuriating that someone would waste our time like this.”


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