By PAUL GARLICK April 11, 2016

Baxter residents were excited to unveil the world’s first ice skating rink made entirely out of frozen beer last weekend. The rink, located in Baxter’s basement, uses only locally sourced materials — all the beer was already on the basement floor before the rink was built.

“The rink was kind of an accident,” said Baxter resident Spencer Gobbler. “I forgot to close the front door after our Wednesday night campus wide and, when I woke up the next morning, the inch-and-half of spilled basement beer was frozen solid.”

“The decision to never clean our House really paid off,” said another Baxter resident. “If we had ever mopped up the mixture of beer, vodka and various bodily fluids that’s coated our basement floor since the fall, this magical ice rink would never have been created.”

Although the ice rink is open to the larger Bowdoin community, attendance has been low, due largely to the inability of Baxter residents to eliminate the basement’s smell.