By THE SULTANATE OF OMAN May 2, 2016
Fuck you, Saudi Arabia.
Hey there, it’s me, the friendly Sultanate of Oman. You may know me for not being the 1976 cult horror film, The Omen, or by confusing me with Yemen. But no, my confused American, I have beautiful beaches and I rank 74th in the World Peace Index. You should visit us! Please.
When it comes to Saudi Arabia, however, Oman does not give a shit about being “peaceful.”
You see, this whole ordeal started last Tuesday night. I had work the next morning and I went to bed on the early side. But around 11 pm, Saudi began blasting Michael Bublé! Who the fuck booms Michael Bublé at 11 pm on a Tuesday night? Not even Michael Bublé’s crotchety-ass mother, Amber! And even if she did, Michael would say, “Not now, Amber, it’s 11 pm on a Tuesday Night! What the fuck, Amber.”
So, I did as any good neighbor would do and called Saudi. And do you know what Saudi did? Saudi put me on hold. And guess what music Saudi played when I was on hold. Michael Bublé.
When I finally got Saudi Arabia, they denied playing the Bubs! They said, “Nah man, that was just some late night beheading.” Really? A beheading at 11 pm on Tuesday. Does Saudi Arabia think Oman is a fool?