By SUMMERS ASKEW Mar. 5, 2017

After years of close research, scientists at the New England Institute of Technology have concluded that students hosting a WBOR 91.1 FM program are literally shouting into the void.

“This makes so much sense,” said Taylor Jacobs, a senior who has hosted an experimental hip-hop-jazz-eco-feminist show for three years. “I mean, the cable obviously didn’t lead anywhere. One end was connected to the soundboard and the other just lay on the floor about three feet away. I had assumed something wireless was going on.”

Head researcher Dr. Peter Jenkins commented, “This is a fairly straightforward case; we’ve seen it before. Kids at a college think their ideas are worth sharing and that their taste of music is unique. We’re glad to clear things up and let them know that no one is listening”.

When asked to comment, many Bowdoin students did not know that the WBOR station existed. Even more students did not know what a radio was.