By SAM HALPERT Mar. 30, 2017
Sources confirmed that the one fucker who just won’t stop talking even though everyone in the class wants Him to recently looked in the mirror to see none other than the Son of God.
The self-righteous prick reportedly feigned surprise before accepting that He was, in fact, sent by God to bless your class with the Truth. As of Sunday night, The King of Kings had reportedly decided to communicate the Truth in the form of regular interruptions, tangential remarks disguised as questions, and outright infuriating comments during open class discussions. The Good Shepherd acknowledged that His journey would not be easy and that He would need to open the eyes of His blind classmates who were not blessed with His same superior intellect and acute awareness of the world.
The Son of Man noted that He did not choose this path of righteousness, but would answer His calling to preach regardless. The Prince of Peace gazed longingly into the distance, presumably imaging a world in which the professor would no longer cut Him off during his elocutions.
Sources confirmed that the class is currently rolling their eyes in anticipation of the Messiah’s next comment.