By JACOB BASKES Sep. 21, 2017

Senior Economics major Alex Canton participated in a Skype interview this week wearing nothing but navy blue slacks from J.Crew.

The interview was held on Saturday morning at 9:00 AM, meaning Canton, who had partied off-campus until 3:00 AM the previous night, was still incredibly high, hungover, and hungry. These factors combined in a perfect storm to cause his outfit faux pas. Canton was interviewing for a position with JPMorgan Chase, but, according to Canton, “Once I saw my bare chest on the monitor I knew it wouldn’t be a long interview.”

To make matters worse, the senior lost a bet the night before and was forced to shave his chest hair to read, “I like dicks, and also finance is stupid.” Canton believes it was the second half of the phrase that caused the interviewer the most distress.

Canton is not expecting to move on to the second round of interviews, but has not lost all hope yet. “You never know. Sometimes they’re looking for people who stand out, and it’s always great to start with a bong. I mean, bang.”