Student Found Dead After Failing to Forward Halloween Chain Text to 10 Spooky Sluts

By SHONA ORTIZ Nov. 1, 2017

Beloved first year Jamie Sullivan was found dead Tuesday night after failing to send a Halloween chain text to 10 of her closest friends.

While studying in Smith Union on Monday, Sullivan received the message from a classmate urging her to forward it along to her friends or face the consequences. Witnesses say she opened it, but then immediately dismissed it as “something that’s like, so totally fifth grade” and failed to forward it. However, less than 24 hours later, Sullivan’s body was found by a jogger at Farley Field surrounded by mini packs of Skittles and with a Jack-o-Lantern on her head. An anonymous note left at the scene of the crime read “Trick or treat, bitch.”

In response, Randy Nichols advises students to take extra precautions this upcoming holiday season. “I would recommend forwarding messages to at least twenty friends for upcoming Thanksgiving and Christmas. And don’t let your guard down Veterans’ Day either. Keep your phone on max volume and vibrate if you really want to be safe.”

When asked for comment, the student who forwarded Sullivan the text, Jessa Gallagher, replied, “I always forward chain texts just to be safe. And I mean, it said ‘Or else.’ It did warn her. That was a chance I didn’t feel comfortable taking. Clearly I was right. And Jamie was the spookiest slut I know.”

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