First Year from California Already Wearing Winter Coat

By NATHAN ASHANY Nov. 4, 2017

Claudia Sandrovius of Burbank, California was spotted walking across the quad last week in a blue Canada Goose down jacket, three weeks before the start of November.

californaIts just so cold here, Sandrovius told reporters from underneath her heavy fur-lined hood designed to withstand blizzard conditions. “It never gets this cold on the west coast! I’m from California by the way. I guess I just didn’t know, being from California and all, which is on the west coast, that winter would start so early here.”

Many students, all wearing sweatshirts and shorts, told reporters that they noticed Sandrovius walking briskly across the quad tightly clutching a large cup of Café coffee. She has also been seen muttering to herself about “the holiday season” repeatedly across campus.

“She thinks it’s like Christmas Eve or something” junior Lee Debrin told reporters, “but it’s gotta be like 65 degrees right now. 60 at the lowest. I swear I heard her talking about building her first snowman after class… I can’t even fathom how she thinks that’s remotely possible.”

Friends of Sandrovius also noted that her early use of winter gear is not limited to outerwear, reporting that she “never shuts the fuck up about her Bean Boots.”

Caludia Sandrovius is originally from the west coast. California, specifically.

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