By ETHAN BEVINGTON Nov. 15, 2017
Following another round of mass shootings, Congressional Republicans bit the bullet and made their stance on gun control clear by literally shooting down a proposed gun control bill with an AR-15.
“We wanted to send a clear message to our constituents that we stand with them,” said Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-KY). “We wanted them to know their second amendment rights are more important than the fact that our citizens are twenty times more likely to die of gun violence than any other nationality.”
Senator John Cornyn (R-TX) made the party position clear by literally shooting a bill that would require universal background checks and mandatory waiting periods with an automatic assault rifle.
“Troops have died to defend our Constitution, which gives us the right to bear arms,” said Cornyn, a notable loose cannon within Congress.
When informed that the majority of Americans support universal background checks, as do the majority of gun owners, Cornyn simply began putting more lead in the bill.
“You see, it just wouldn’t make a difference, I could do just as much damage as John did with this knife,” said Senator John Barrasso (R-WY) as he struggled to pierce the bill with his knife. “It just doesn’t make pragmatic sense,” continued Barrasso.
“This country doesn’t need fewer guns; it needs more good guys with guns,” concluded Cornyn as he accidently shot McConnell in the shoulder.