Mom Cannot Get Over ‘Just How Cute’ Maine Is

By ETHAN BEVINGTON Sept. 10, 2018

Seeing the state for the first time, Bowdoin mother Susan Long made clear just how adorable she thinks Maine is.

“Maine is just so cute,” said Long, who hails from upper Manhattan, to Kayla, her daughter. “All the houses are so pretty. Oh my god, you can see the ocean too! Honey, you’re going to be able to do so much swimming, and maybe even learn to hunt for lobsters.” Sources indicate that other words used to describe Maine were “charming,” “antique,” and “winsome.”

Kayla tried to explain to her mom that despite its New England charm, Maine is facing a state-wide macroeconomic crisis as a consequence of a widening skills gap. The state suffers from an opioid crisis, experiencing numerous overdose deaths each year. Long did not hear her daughter say any of this, as she was too busy focusing on the ‘absolutely darling’ Muddy Rudder on the Cousins River.

Once in Brunswick, Long had “her socks knocked off” by the charm of downtown Brunswick. “This place is just so cute! I just cannot even get over how cute it is,” she said. “You have such a quaint main street. You’ll be able to come down here all the time,” she said to Kayla as she passed Little Dog, failing to notice a truck with independent militia flags pasted to it fueling in the 7-11.

As she left, Long expressed how excited she was for her daughter to “get to know the state” and that she was “already looking forward to Parents’ Weekend.”

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