By KATE MCKEE Sept. 20, 2018

This Friday, Bowdoin Athletic Director Tim Ryan announced the Department’s newest athletic program: cage fighting.

“After several requests and thoughtful consideration, we are thrilled to announce cage fighting as an official Division III program for this winter,” Ryan declared in a press conference at Farley Field House. “We have already seen incredible traction from alumni and various donors. I see some really great potential in this program.”

Felix Martinez, founder of the Cage Fighting Fury Championships and newly appointed coach of Bowdoin Cage Fighting, was available for interview following the press conference.

“The cage fighting community has been looking to small liberal arts colleges like Bowdoin to really expand our outreach. Too often are we getting the same types of people in the cage. That’s where Bowdoin comes in — there’s really nothing like seeing a kid from Upper East Side and a scrapper from the Midwest hash it out in the Cage,” Martinez noted.

Students have been incredibly receptive to the announcement. Sophomore lacrosse player Ian Stokes of New Jersey was particularly excited. “I think I might just have to give up lax for this,” he said. “I love the boys, but what I love even more is a good fucking fight, pressed up against the cage, the metal creaking in your ear. There’s really nothing like getting in there and just duking it out.”

Even outside the athletic community, many NARPs have rejoiced at the idea of a cage fighting team. First year and prospective Philosophy major Nikki Jonas was also thrilled by the news. “During orientation, I was really turned off by the fact that physical violence was an offense that could bring me before the J-Board,” Jonas pointed out. “I now feel a twang of hope for continuing my fighting beyond high school. Maybe the Athletic Department will even let me host some prospies!”

Construction of The Ryan Cage, the College’s new 25,000-seat cage fighting arena, is scheduled to start early next week.