By ETHAN BEVINGTON Nov. 14, 2018

Junior Ian Wex’s plans to get dinner with Allison Carson next Wednesday at Thorne
are the only thing keeping their hardly-a-friendship alive.

“Yeah, I mean, we met on our O-Trip together and became pretty close, so we
definitely go back. It’s just odd though, when you only see a person at meals,” said
Wex. “The last time we got dinner she started off by asking how my History Major
was going. I’m a Math Major, so I quickly corrected her, but told her I did like the
History class I took in the Spring my first year, which is probably what she was
thinking of. The meal never really recovered after that.”

Carson feels similarly, telling reporters, “he asked me how Stockholm was in the
Fall, which was really bad because I studied abroad in Vietnam. Like, they aren’t
even close in terms of geography or climate. You’d only need to look at my
Instagram to figure out where I was. Things just haven’t been as nice as when were
up late at night on a dock overlooking the Penobscot Bay, talking about our favorite
John Green novels.”

Wex expanded on their relationship, explaining, “It’s really uncomfortable when we
see each other at parties. This one time, we were both in Ladd and made eye contact.
I went for the hug, but she just stuck her hand out to wave. I was so profoundly
embarrassed I went to Supers to drown my sorrows in nacho cheese.”

Wex and Carson are both looking forward to just getting this over with until they
have to eat again together next year.