HENRY STACK

BRUNSWICK, ME–I realized something was off with my girlfriend on a weekend trip to Canada with the boys. While I was getting crunked on the streets of Montreal with the boys, my girlfriend’s disposition became noticeably different. She was upset and frustrated and it almost seemed like my drunk calls at 1am from the streets of Montreal were not only not making her feel better, but actually making her feel worse. I could not figure out what was happening and everytime I asked she responded with “I’m fine” which seemed to be pretty conclusive evidence that she was totally okay. Yet finally I figured it out–she told me that I had gone to Montreal to get ham-sauced with the boys on her 20th birthday. 

My initial reaction was admittedly poor. I told her “you are imagining things” and she responded with anger, “you think I imagined my birthday?” It seemed like she wanted an answer and so I said, “yes, birthdays are a capitalist construction.” She was surprisingly unreceptive to my insight. However, I soon began to reflect on my actions and felt awful. I desperately wanted to improve things and I tried everything. I told her “sorry” over and over again. Nothing seemed to be working. I even tried saying “lo siento” thinking that the beautiful romance language of “Espanol” would woo her. Yet she found this insincere. 

If this story speaks to you, I want to let you know that you are not alone. Every year millions of people forget their girlfriends’ birthdays. A 2025 study done by me and a couple of my friends, found that a girlfriend’s birthday is actually the most forgettable birthday, even more than a dad, a sister, or a mom (Me et al. 2025). Additionally, scholars have found that a trip to Montreal is really fun. There are some who would go so far to say that it actually rivals the fun one might have with their girlfriend on her 20th birthday. If you are like me, share your truth and share these facts. Baby pookie bear, if you are reading this please take me back, I miss you so much. Also can you let me into Stowe Hall? I forgot my one card.