Student Cannot Muster Courage to Correct Family Members’ Pronunciation of “Bow-Doyne”

By JACK REED | Nov. 21, 2017

It’s that time of the year again! Leaves have fallen, clocks have turned back, and first-year Floridians bracing the cold have submitted their transfer applications to colleges in the South. In other words, it’s November, and with November’s advent comes many students’ favorite holiday: Thanksgiving.

While most students excitedly count down the days until we leave campus, there are a select few who dread heading home for break. One of these students is Jordyn Riley, who will return to her home of Aquebogue, New York for the 66th Annual Riley Family Reunion, an ordeal that takes place every Thanksgiving.
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At the Reunion, Riley will be surrounded by nearly 40 cousins, aunts, uncles, grandparents, and at least 3 hideous infants. As per usual, Riley will begrudgingly make the rounds, say her hellos, and lie to her relatives about how she’s doing at school and her plans for after graduation. And, of course, none of these grinning idiots know how to pronounce “Bowdoin.” These relatives will also continue a charade of their own as they smile at Riley and tell her how proud they are of her, all while wondering why a kid with so much potential would go to some no-name community college.

“This will be my fourth Reunion since I’ve been here at Bowdoin, and my relatives still don’t know that it’s not pronounced ‘Bow-Doyne,’” remarked Riley. “It’s been this way ever since my first semester. As a senior, I’m in so deep now that there’s no way I could ever even consider correcting them. They listened to one of President Rose’s speeches over parents weekend and I had to tell them that he mispronounced the name.”

At the Reunion, Riley will sit at the dinner table near her two cousins who know the struggle; they currently attend school at Rensselaer and Duquesne. The other three cousins at the Reunion go to Rice, Bard, and Duke. Riley envies them, and she will do her best to ensure that they get a bad slice of turkey.

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