By ARCHER THOMAS Mar. 30, 2018
Last week, Kevin Bacon revealed that his foot — get this! — his foot actually came loose. Just like Footloose, right? Just like his most successful movie! (Well, if you don’t count A Few Good Men and Apollo 13.) I’ll tell you what, if that happened to me, if my foot just plopped off like a moldy goiter, I’d be pretty Apollo’d, too! Ha! Get it? Like the word “appalled.” Continue reading “Kevin Bacon’s Foot Literally Comes Loose (Get it? He was in 1984’s Footloose)”
By JARED COLE Mar. 28, 2018
Current Bowdoin sophomore and aspiring law student Michael Duncan was late to his first mock interview in an effort to treat the situation as realistically as possible. Continue reading “Aspiring Law Student Late to Mock Interview”
By ELEANOR MILDENSTEIN Mar. 26, 2018
After facing several excruciating days of constipation, first-year student Tina Pierce ate Friday’s Student Digest in hopes of alleviating the pain.
“I had been feeling strange ever since I ate the vegan cheese burritos in Moulton on Tuesday,” said Pierce. “I was spending upwards of 8 hours on the toilet a day, but still nothing.”
Pierce claims to have tried every toilet on campus in hopes that the change in scenery would help. On Friday night, while experimenting with the Baxter bathroom, Pierce had an epiphany.
“I knew I would be stuck for a while, so I pulled out my phone. When I ran out of people to stalk on Instagram, Twitter, Facebook, LinkedIn, MySpace, and ChristianMingle, I opened the Mail app,” Pierce explained. “I saw the email from firstname.lastname@example.org hidden between a job offer to be a Mystery Shopper and an email from the Bursar’s office that I’ve been too scared to open. Something told me it would be the solution I’ve been looking for – a way to fix my digest engine.”
Pierce reports that the Student Digest, while helpful, did not live up to the usual standards of Bowdoin dining.
By BROOKE VAHOS Mar. 9, 2017
I’m sure we all saw the Instagram, Snapchat and Facebook posts celebrating the so called “magic” of women yesterday for International Women’s Day. Sure, it was great, but is anyone going to address the elephant in the room? While women are awesome and all, it still stands that the world revolves around men. Plain and simple. Continue reading “Yesterday May Have Been International Women’s Day, but Don’t Forget Saturdays Are for the Boys”
By ARCHER THOMAS Mar. 8, 2018
On Wednesday, supermodel Melania Trump balked at widespread rumors that she had a sexual relationship with President Donald Trump. “Please,” Melania explained, “would I really have slept with him? I don’t even know who he is…” Continue reading “Melania Denies Having Sexual Relationship with Donald Trump”
By AINE LAWLOR Mar. 6, 2018
It’s a question that has puzzled researchers for years: why do hockey players have so many glasses of water on their tray? Continue reading “Study: Positive Correlation Found Between Number of Cups on Hockey Player’s Tray and Number of Goals Allowed”
By JACOB BASKES Mar. 5, 2018
In a move that silenced many critics, the NRA officially changed its name last week to the National AR-15 Association, clarifying where its true interests lie.
Continue reading “NRA Changes Name to National AR-15 Association”
By LIAM JUSKEVICE Mar. 1, 2018
A red squirrel was seen chewing on a freaking pine cone on campus today. Most Bowdoin students are likely familiar with the eastern gray squirrel, (Squirrelus isgrayeastus), but red squirrels, (Squirrelus redicus) are a less common sight. So uncommon on campus that we wrote an article about seeing one.
Continue reading “Red Squirrel Spotted on Campus! It’s Like a Gray Squirrel Except It’s Red”
By K IRVING Feb. 28, 2018
As February draws to a close and first-years intently complete their College House applications, Bowdoin’s campus buzzes with the anticipation of students hoping live in their house of choice next year. Continue reading “If I Don’t Get in to Either Baxter or Howell I’m Not Going to Live in a College House”
By SAM HALPERT Feb. 26, 2018
The Office of Residential Life announced it will host a new College House panel in Baxter on pulling trig in an effort to promote safe drinking practices.
Continue reading “College Houses to Host Panel on Pulling Trig”