Tag: World

Notre Dame Fire Blamed on Student Candle

by JACK ARNHOLZ April 17, 2019

French President Emmanuel Macron announced today that a student’s unattended lit candle caused last Monday’s fire at the Notre Dame cathedral in Paris. While no one was seriously injured in the blaze, Mr. Macron said that the incident suggests that his message about the dangers of lit candles was not getting through.

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Refugees from Slightly Less War-Torn Country Begin Gentrifying Refugee Camp

by ARCHER THOMAS Mar. 27, 2019

According to most long-time inhabitants of Kis Omak, a refugee camp in Lebanon, it all started with the opening of a trendy, hipster latrine called “Shitspot.” Within a week, hundreds of marginally-less traumatized refugees from Iraq began flooding the mostly Syrian camp, driving up rents and diminishing the quirky charm the camp had developed.

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“No, I Don’t Want to Hear About Your Spring Break or the Mueller Report”

by JACK ARNHOLZ Mar. 25, 2019

Hey, I’m sure you had a wild spring break hiking the Everglades, getting an individually tailored McGruff the Crime Dog costume, or finally obtaining the currently sealed Special Counsel Report on the Investigation into Russian Interference in the 2016 Presidential Election. But, guess what? I really don’t want to hear it.

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