WASHINGTON, D.C. – In a recent memo from the White House, President Donald Trump has ordered what little is left of the EPA to start “killing baby birds and poisoning tributaries” starting next Wednesday.
Continue reading “Donald Trump Orders EPA To Kill Baby Birds, Poison Tributaries”Over the last year, students across the country have made calls for their colleges and universities to divest from companies with financial ties to Israel. Bowdoin College is no stranger to these debates.
Continue reading “Bowdoin Divests from Everything”BRUNSWICK, ME–I realized something was off with my girlfriend on a weekend trip to Canada with the boys. While I was getting crunked on the streets of Montreal with the boys, my girlfriend’s disposition became noticeably different. She was upset and frustrated and it almost seemed like my drunk calls at 1am from the streets of Montreal were not only not making her feel better, but actually making her feel worse. I could not figure out what was happening and everytime I asked she responded with “I’m fine” which seemed to be pretty conclusive evidence that she was totally okay. Yet finally I figured it out–she told me that I had gone to Montreal to get ham-sauced with the boys on her 20th birthday.
Continue reading “Alert! Your Girlfriend’s Birthday Was Yesterday”In an exclusive interview with the Bowdoin Harpoon, mathematics major Isaiah Williams ‘26 shared what has influenced his academic decisions during his time at Bowdoin.
Continue reading “Math Major Good at Fractions”Need help navigating the new course registration system? The Harpoon collaborated with Workday to bring you the answers you need.
On Tuesday, President Zaki announced that Bowdoin would be creating a new and important position at the college: the Dean of Dean of Dean of Students. In her email, President Zaki explained that “this position will help our Dean of Dean of Students supply specific and broad support to the Dean of Students.”
Continue reading “Bowdoin Appoints Dean of Dean of Dean of Students “
After a year of telling my parents that my Gender, Sexuality, and Women’s Studies major would lead to job prospects it was finally time to tap into the illustrious Bowdoin alumni network at Sophomore Bootcamp. I immediately felt out of place as my finance bro friends regaled me with stories of snorting lines and doing time in minimum security prisons with their alumni connections. I felt lost, searching for a connection that would appreciate feminist literature as much as I do (6’ 3” btw).
Continue reading “I Had Phone Sex With My Alumni Connection “
In a surprising turn of events, Burnett House has been replaced with a giant pile of sand. The pile is about 35 feet tall, and around 7000 square feet, essentially replicating the exact dimensions of Burnett House but in sand. It’s like if the house had never existed and instead there was just a house-sized pile of sand, but no one could live in it and it no longer had a dumpster where I could throw out the trash from my off-campus house.
Continue reading “Burnett House Replaced With Giant Pile of Sand”At last week’s pub trivia battle, a formidable group of five massive nerds easily defeated all the pathetic average nerds to claim the pub trivia title. The winning group of massive nerds, who go by team name ‘Making it Trivial’, displayed impressive knowledge of U.S. presidents, African world capitals, and the Olympic Games, while the teams composed of average nerds had friends and hobbies in high school.
Continue reading “Massive Nerds Defeat Average Nerds to Win Pub Trivia”
The Bowdoin Harpoon 