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Dining Hall Greeters Given License to Kill Students Who Don’t Say Good Morning

By JEFF PRICE Oct.24, 2018

Following President Clayton Rose’s new mandate to pursue “radical hospitality,” the BSG has ratified an article to its constitution enshrining greeters’ right to use lethal force on students who don’t smile and say “Good morning.” Continue reading “Dining Hall Greeters Given License to Kill Students Who Don’t Say Good Morning”

Pre-Med Student Pulls Gastroenterology Paper Out of His Ass

By ELIZA JEVON Oct. 17, 2018

It was the typical grind of midterms week at Bowdoin College. Pre-Med student Jimmy Blaine was swamped. He had put off working on his gastroenterology paper for weeks, and Jimmy’s grade was plunging deeper and deeper into a pile of shit. One more late assignment and he was sure to fail. Continue reading “Pre-Med Student Pulls Gastroenterology Paper Out of His Ass”

Students Already In Debt Due To Laundry Fees

By Macey Barker Sept. 22, 2018

We are nearly a month into the semester and students have already declared bankruptcy due to the exorbitantly high cost of laundry. The demand of a $1.70 for each load means that even ramen seems like a delicacy. The “fresh linen” scent that was noticeable in the first week of the semester is gone and all that remains is crippling debt. Continue reading “Students Already In Debt Due To Laundry Fees”