By ELIZA JEVON
Everyone complains about having a tough job, but this Bumble Ambassador deserves extra complaining rights. Clarissa Donnelly works two jobs with drastically different work demands and personality types — Bumble Ambassador and used car salesman. Continue reading “Bumble Ambassador Exhausted from Working Second Job as Used Cars Salesman”
By JEFF PRICE Oct.24, 2018
Following President Clayton Rose’s new mandate to pursue “radical hospitality,” the BSG has ratified an article to its constitution enshrining greeters’ right to use lethal force on students who don’t smile and say “Good morning.” Continue reading “Dining Hall Greeters Given License to Kill Students Who Don’t Say Good Morning”
By JAANA SINGH AND MAGGIE COSTER Oct. 23, 2018
Chloe Wu ‘22 has gotten every meal with her Pre-O group so far this semester. She is, however, starting to question when she finally can start branching out to other friends she didn’t share a tent with. Continue reading “First Year Wondering When She Can Stop Having Every Meal with her Pre-O”
By JACOB BASKES Oct. 22, 2018
A group of students and their parents, visiting Bowdoin for Family Weekend, set off for Morse Mountain for a day-hike this past weekend. The group has not been seen since their departure. Continue reading “Six Families Lost in Woods on BOC Family Weekend Hike”
By ELIZA JEVON Oct. 17, 2018
It was the typical grind of midterms week at Bowdoin College. Pre-Med student Jimmy Blaine was swamped. He had put off working on his gastroenterology paper for weeks, and Jimmy’s grade was plunging deeper and deeper into a pile of shit. One more late assignment and he was sure to fail. Continue reading “Pre-Med Student Pulls Gastroenterology Paper Out of His Ass”
By JACK SHANE Oct. 16, 2018
A month into his Bowdoin career, Jared Whatshisface knows about as many people as he did at the end of orientation. Continue reading “First-Year Wonders When He Will Learn More Than Just His Classmates’ Names”
By Macey Barker Sept. 22, 2018
We are nearly a month into the semester and students have already declared bankruptcy due to the exorbitantly high cost of laundry. The demand of a $1.70 for each load means that even ramen seems like a delicacy. The “fresh linen” scent that was noticeable in the first week of the semester is gone and all that remains is crippling debt. Continue reading “Students Already In Debt Due To Laundry Fees”
By KATE MCKEE Oct. 11, 2018
President Clayton Rose has announced that the College will be eliminating the campus’s blue light emergency system. Instead, they will be turned red to create Maine’s very first Red Light District. Continue reading “Campus Blue Lights to Be Turned Red to Make Bowdoin Maine’s First Red Light District”
By ARCHER THOMAS Oct. 10, 2018
The term “dead-ass” has proliferated in casual conversation in recent years. It seems that I can’t walk through Smith or eat at Moulton without hearing this disgusting phrase. Continue reading “Saying “Dead-Ass” is Insensitive to People Whose Ass Has Died”
By WILL HAUSMANN Oct. 4, 2018
At 7:00 am on Monday morning, Bowdoin first year pre-law student Peter Roux was found in front of Hubbard Hall. He was anxiously reading the Bowdoin course guide while sitting on a stack of LSAT review books. Continue reading “First-year pre-law student “very concerned” about senior year coursework”
The Bowdoin Harpoon 