By ELIZA JEVON Oct. 17, 2018
It was the typical grind of midterms week at Bowdoin College. Pre-Med student Jimmy Blaine was swamped. He had put off working on his gastroenterology paper for weeks, and Jimmy’s grade was plunging deeper and deeper into a pile of shit. One more late assignment and he was sure to fail. Continue reading “Pre-Med Student Pulls Gastroenterology Paper Out of His Ass”
By JACK SHANE Oct. 16, 2018
A month into his Bowdoin career, Jared Whatshisface knows about as many people as he did at the end of orientation. Continue reading “First-Year Wonders When He Will Learn More Than Just His Classmates’ Names”
By Macey Barker Sept. 22, 2018
We are nearly a month into the semester and students have already declared bankruptcy due to the exorbitantly high cost of laundry. The demand of a $1.70 for each load means that even ramen seems like a delicacy. The “fresh linen” scent that was noticeable in the first week of the semester is gone and all that remains is crippling debt. Continue reading “Students Already In Debt Due To Laundry Fees”
By KATE MCKEE Oct. 11, 2018
President Clayton Rose has announced that the College will be eliminating the campus’s blue light emergency system. Instead, they will be turned red to create Maine’s very first Red Light District. Continue reading “Campus Blue Lights to Be Turned Red to Make Bowdoin Maine’s First Red Light District”
By ARCHER THOMAS Oct. 10, 2018
The term “dead-ass” has proliferated in casual conversation in recent years. It seems that I can’t walk through Smith or eat at Moulton without hearing this disgusting phrase. Continue reading “Saying “Dead-Ass” is Insensitive to People Whose Ass Has Died”
By WILL HAUSMANN Oct. 4, 2018
At 7:00 am on Monday morning, Bowdoin first year pre-law student Peter Roux was found in front of Hubbard Hall. He was anxiously reading the Bowdoin course guide while sitting on a stack of LSAT review books. Continue reading “First-year pre-law student “very concerned” about senior year coursework”
By LUCY SIEGEL Oct. 2, 2018
Linda Makinson is re-evaluating her decision to become a professor after teaching a class that fulfills the Inquiry in Natural Science (INS) requirement for the past month. Makenson received her Ph.D. from Johns Hopkins last year and has received countless awards for her groundbreaking research on the devastating effects climate change is having on sub-Saharan Africa. She decided to become a professor to “help shape the minds of tomorrow’s greatest scientific researches.” Continue reading “New Professor Reevaluates Life Choices After Teaching Sub-1100 Level INS Class”
By BLAINE STEVENS Oct. 2, 2018,
This past Sunday, First Year Emma Winslow participated in a decades-long Bowdoin family tradition in Maine Hall’s Third Floor bathroom. Following in the footsteps of her father, James Winslow ’81, and grandfather, Henry Winslow ‘57, Emma pulled trig — and in doing so, celebrated her family’s legacy at the College. After shoving her index and middle fingers down her throat in an effort to “sober the fuck up,” Emma claimed that she was “honored” to be vomiting into the same toilet as her beloved patriarchs. Continue reading “Legacy Student “Honored” to Pull Trig in Same Bathroom as Father, Grandfather”
By AINE LAWLOR Oct. 1, 2018
I have received like four emails and at least six letters saying that I have a court date I need to attend and like why don’t they get that I am not interested. I mean seriously people, I’ve posted about my bae like 4 times – get the message! Continue reading “I Keep Receiving Notifications of a Court Date – Why Do They Not Get that I am Taken!?!”
By JACOB BASKES Sept. 26th, 2018
Students arrived on campus last week to find a change to the layout of the C-Store, Bowdoin’s primary purveyor of chocolate-covered pretzels and kombucha. Rather than a rack of snacks in the center of the room, there are now six shelves dedicated to satisfying the campus’s JUUL needs. Continue reading “C-Store to Begin Selling JUUL Pods”
The Bowdoin Harpoon 