By SAM HALPERT Feb. 21, 2018
In a shocking turn of events, the entire Men’s Hockey team was acquitted Wednesday morning. The jury deliberated for just over two weeks before handing down the surprise verdict.
Continue reading “It’s a Miracle! Hockey Team Acquitted”
By JACOB BASKES Feb. 19, 2018
The results of a recent study show that eleven percent of seniors at Bowdoin have used cocaine. So… anyone know where I can get some of the stuff?
Continue reading “Eleven Percent of Seniors Have Tried Cocaine… So Where Can I Find Some?”
By JACOB BASKES Feb. 15, 2018
During Wednesday’s blood drive to benefit The Red Cross, two volunteer technicians were caught participating in “Slap the Bag” in the middle of Smith Union. Continue reading “Red Cross Volunteers Caught “Slapping the Bag” at Blood Drive”
By SUMMERS ASKEW Feb. 14, 2018
Prompted by Valentine’s Day celebrations, local mother of three Deborah Thomason stated today that “love is just a social construct manufactured by the greeting card industry to sell overpriced heart-shaped commodities to hopelessly vulnerable people all across the world.”
Continue reading ““Love is Just a Social Construct Manufactured by the Greeting Card Industry,” says Married Mother of Three”
By DAVID FIX Feb. 13, 2018
Did you know that I can ride my bike without using either one of my two hands? Well, I can. Continue reading “Guy Who Can Ride Bike Without Hands: “Hey Did You Know I Can Ride My Bike Without Hands?””
By BEN WONG Feb. 6, 2018
Local café Wild Oats has decided to open a new branch for Bowdoin students: Sexiled Oats. Annexed to the original Wild Oats, the shelter will provide free 24-hour beds, pillows, and entertainment to any Bowdoin student whose roommate can’t seem to stop fornicating while blasting “Bump N’ Grind” by R. Kelly on repeat. Continue reading “Local Café Opens New Refuge for Students: Sexiled Oats”
By JACOB BASKES Feb. 5, 2018
After the Patriots’ 41-33 loss to the Philadelphia Eagles in Super Bowl LII, residents of Bowker house invited a large group of friends to finish their homework before Monday morning classes. Continue reading “Bowker Hosts Late-Night Study Session Following Super Bowl”
By AINE LAWLOR Feb. 2, 2017
Michael Tucker gave his weekly State of Smith Union address yesterday, with much more sarcasm than usual. Specifically, Tucker brought campus attention to the overwhelmed state of the game-room that is currently a temporary package distribution center. (For reference, this is the room in Smith with ping pong tables, but no paddles, balls, or people. Continue reading “Michael Tucker Delivers State of Smith Union Address: “THERE ARE WAY TOO MANY PACKAGES””
By SEBASTIAN HERNANDEZ Feb. 1 2018
After a week of sleeping on his friend’s futon, area man Reese S. Peanutbuttercup has developed a crick in his neck that has skyrocketed to number two on the Billboard Hot 100 chart. Mr. Peanutbuttercup had been cracking his neck all week during his stay with childhood friend and Grammy Award-winning producer Swizz Beats. Continue reading “Sound of Man Cracking Neck Reaches #2 on Billboard Charts”
By SAM HALPERT Jan. 30, 2018
Upon receiving Chief Registrar Martina Duncan’s email yesterday, sophomore
Katherine Jarvis mounted a table in Thorne and loudly declared a Mathematics and
Asian Studies double major to the student body. Continue reading “Student Declares Major Loudly in Thorne”
The Bowdoin Harpoon 